


Salvation

by Rookblonkorules



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Annie Leonhart-centric, Character Study, Conflict with self, Gen, Guilt, Hoped For Redemption, Introspection, Nightmares, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:28:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28064730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rookblonkorules/pseuds/Rookblonkorules
Summary: Maybe there’s still a chance she can be saved. Character study.
Relationships: Hitch Dreyse & Annie Leonhart
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Salvation

**Author's Note:**

> Annie went from being someone who I didn't think much about (outside of her being fantastic as the Female Titan) to being one of my favorite characters.   
> Special thanks to one of my best friends, Meritt, who beta read this piece for me.  
> Might be slight manga spoilers regarding the Warrior Trios motives.

Annie wakes with a tiny gasp, drenched in sweat and cold all over.

Her dreams are always silent. 

She’s never torn from her sleep by the sound of her own screams. 

Hers is a quiet pain, if she has any right to call it by that name.

After the things she’s done, what right does she have to claim suffering?

All the faces that haunt her in her sleep… People she doesn’t know, but who died because of her. Because she’s here and because making sure that they die is part of her job. 

There are so many of them.

What right does she have to suffer in the face of all that?

_ Annie, please! Don’t do this! Annie! _

She sees Marco now too. Hears his voice as he pleads with her- with  _ her- _ to save his life instead of just going along with Reiner.

Marco, who was too kind to say anything in life, who just wanted to talk, now looks at her with the kind of hatred that threatens to steal her breath from her.

Does heaven exist? Does hell?

If they do, Annie is sure she knows which one of them she is going to. 

She can’t stay in bed any longer. She kicks sweat-soaked sheets to the foot of her bed. She strips, leaving her night clothes in a heap on the floor, and dresses quickly.

Her roommate, Hitch, moans in her sleep, but otherwise, the night is still.

Annie waits for a moment, watching Hitch sleep, but Hitch shows no other signs of stirring. 

Technically, she isn’t allowed to leave the barracks at this time, but Annie knows how to sneak around. 

This isn’t the first time she’s slipped out at night for one reason or another. 

She won’t be caught.

She slips soundlessly from the room and takes to the streets. Annie has never not been in control of her emotions before. Now, they’re threatening to drown her.

It’s an unfamiliar feeling and she hates every bit of it. 

(She deserves to feel this way.)

She’s being stupid, letting them get to her head.

If Reiner and Bertholdt knew… What would they say? What would they do if they knew how deeply her doubts had penetrated?

She thinks back to Reiner’s demand that she prove herself. It’s the only time she can ever remember being frightened of him. She’s had no reason to be in the past. They’re on the same team. 

Even after Marcel, she can’t remember the foundations of their group feeling this shaky.

But maybe that’s just her. 

No matter how damned they might be, how blood-stained their hands might be, they had each other to rely on. 

Now she’s not so sure. 

Annie doesn’t intend to wander far, but the fresh air does wonders to clear her head. She finds herself moving farther and farther away from the relative safety of the barracks. 

Life was easier when she had just believed them to be the devils Marley said they were. Life was easier when she could just believe that and move forward with her mission as a warrior. When she could concentrate on getting home to her father. 

Her father… 

Annie presses her hand to her temple and tries to ignore the painful ache in her chest. 

How many more people is she going to have to kill just to see him again? 

How many more Marcos will there be?

She’d been unquestioning before, but now… now she has to ask herself if it’s worth it.

If this is what it takes to save the rest of humanity, if killing these people who have done nothing wrong is the ticket to her own salvation, is it worth it?

The answer eludes her. 

Her thoughts wander and so do her feet, carrying her deeper into the heart of the city beyond Wall Sina as she becomes nothing more than a passenger inside her own body. 

She feels lost, but she has no idea what she’s searching for. The feeling culminates in a hollow ache deep in the pit of her stomach. She’s never felt this empty before and she isn’t sure that there’s anything that can fill the void. 

(It’s not like she doesn’t deserve that ache anyways.)

Her ears catch the sound of human voices and she halts, backing into a narrow alleyway and pressing herself against the bricks. 

It’s only a pair of officers, making their rounds. Even if they catch sight of her, Annie knows she’ll be able to give them the slip before they have a chance to recognize her, but she’d rather not be seen anyways.    
The pair move on, but Annie changes direction. She needs to… she needs to head back to the barracks anyways.

The edge of the horizon is kissed with the slightest hint of color. It means she’s been lost in her thoughts for longer than she intended and that it won’t be long before the sun is up and the day has started. 

Hitch will be awake and Annie’s absence will raise more questions than she wants to answer. 

She makes it back without being seen by anyone. 

It’s enough to make her breath a sigh of relief, but when she’s in the middle of changing into her uniform, Hitch’s voice startles her.

“You’re back.” Her voice is soft, still addled with sleep, and not at all accusatory, but it still raises all the hairs on Annie’s neck because she wasn’t supposed to be  _ found out. _

Hitch isn’t supposed to have woken up.

There are probably a million better things she could have said, but what comes out of Annie’s mouth is, “What?”

Hitch flops back down onto her pillow, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Her hair is a tangled mess and she really seems like she’s only half-awake. Which isn’t a surprise, considering how early it is, even for them. 

“You left. I woke up,” she says simply. “Where were you?”

“Um…” Annie can’t think of a single thing to say.

It turns out she doesn’t actually need to say anything.

Hitch yawns and blinks up at the ceiling, more alert now. “It’s okay. Sometimes you just need a breath of fresh air. I won’t tell anyone.” Her eyes slip shut again, like she might be thinking of going back to sleep. She blinks them open again a moment later. “I’m up!” she announces to no one in particular.

That’s okay, because Annie has already stopped listening.

There’s only one solution to this hell that she can see, the lesser of two evils. 

Eren Jaeger is the ticket to her salvation. Capturing him is the only way she can make this end. 

  
  
  



End file.
